Written by Alyssa Hustedt, Guest Blogger
If you have ever been associated with the word infertility, you know that the holidays can be one of the most difficult seasons of the year. Everywhere you look it feels like there is a reminder that something or someone is missing.
During our first years of marriage, my husband and I briefly talked about sending out Christmas cards. “Let’s just wait until when we have kids.” We’ve never used any type of prevention, so we assumed kids would be in the near future, right? Well, Christmas #1 no kids, Christmas #2 the same, Christmas #3 and so on.
Seven Christmas’ later (still no children) and we are finally sending out Christmas cards. Seven years later–through the valleys of darkness, sadness and doubts—I’m choosing to believe the truth over the lie…
The Lie: We will never be a complete family until we have children.
The Truth: The day my husband and I took our vows to become man and wife, we became a complete family. Any children we have, whether by birth or adoption, enter into the family we have created with just the two of us.
The Lie: I will not be complete until I have children.
The Truth: If I am looking for children to complete me, I’m going to be disappointed. Becoming a mother is a gift but it should not be my identity or where I find my worth. If you feel like you’re walking around with a deep hole inside of you longing to be filled, I challenge you to do some soul searching and find your true identity outside of having kids or the desire to have them.
The Lie: Something is wrong with me if I can’t have children.
The Truth: Something may not physically be working quite like it should, but it requires two to make a baby and it takes Divine power to breathe life into that little soul. And maybe God’s plans are greater and bigger than our own. Faith, no matter how small, can go a long way.
Seven years later, seven years stronger, seven years of a marriage that has remained faithful, grown deeper through trials, and IS a family with hope and a vision for the future… no matter how much longer or how many more tears it takes to get there.
Be blessed this Christmas season and enjoy—even celebrate—your family, no matter how small or big it is.
With love, Alyssa