Written by Rebekah Venturella, guest blogger
I never imagined that my life would endure such a challenge as this. Life certainly has its share of challenges, but infertility was not something I would have ever imagined facing.
My husband and I have trying to get pregnant for almost four years now. We spent 2017 navigating our way through countless Clomid assisted cycles and four round of IUI, sadly, to no avail. Needless to say, it has been the most trying time of my life.
I’m writing this, we started my first round of stimulation medication in preparation for IVF. With so much anticipation built up around the process and the “big scary shots,” when it begins, it feels as though you’re having an out-of-body experience. It’s both real and surreal at the same time.
You’ve walked a long road up to this point, had your share of utter heartache and shattered hopes, and now it comes down to this moment, as you stand preparing the needle and syringe, diligently cleaning the vile for the allotted fifteen seconds, and you can’t help but think, “Is this going to hurt?” “Am I missing something?” “What am I even doing?!” “Has this really become my new reality!?” And ultimately, at a time when you’d rather it not, the one question always in the back of your mind pesters it’s way forward – “ Will it work this time?”
Regardless, you know you’ve got to try, and you know you will keep trying no matter what, because nothing is worth more. So you summon the courage and gently press the needle in, calm yourself when it begins to burn and the feeling of blacking out washes over you like a wave.
Then, it’s over. You’ve done it. You’ve officially stepped into the world of IVF and attained another small victory. Because, when you’ve come to that place in life where you’re forced by disappointment to dream cautiously and shoulder more than your share of pain, it’s all about those small victories that will one day lead to the ultimate victory and turning point in your life. Anyone who’s gone through a similar experience can no doubt relate. However, in spite of the heartache and lingering doubts, my husband and I both are looking forward to the New Year with the anticipation of new life. So, let it begin!