Today was supposed to be my transfer day. In a few hours I would have 1 or 2 teeny tiny embryos implanted in me with the hope that they would grow into my healthy little babies.
That’s not happening and perhaps it may never. The Doctor told me yesterday that all 5 of my embryos tested abnormal after the PGD screening. That’s very unusual for a woman my age and health which indicates that my chances of ever having my own child is slim to none.
Gabe and I are struggling right now to even comprehend this information. We may never have our own biological kids. Even typing the words makes me physically ill. This is literally THE most devastating news you could possibly tell me. I am beyond sad.
Our Doctor suggests that we try one more round of IVF to see if perhaps it was a “bad batch.” Besides that he believes it’s time to start looking at out other options, like adoption. Adoption is definitely something we’ll look into once the dust has settled a bit.
This is the time when our faith is really being tested. Asking us to believe in God’s greater plan even though it’s not what we want. Hoping that we will trust Him even though our hearts are aching. I am at a loss for words right now. The only thing that gives me the slightest comfort is Jeremiah 29:11 which basically says, “God has a plan, trust it.”