Written by Monique Farook, Guest Blogger
My name is Monique.
I am a stay at home mom & wife. My husband and I were married for two years before we sought the help of a reproductive endocrinologist. My desire to have a child was burning inside of me and it quickly became my obsession. At the time of the first treatment in 2012, I was 29 years old and the IUI cycle was unsuccessful. We had never fallen pregnant on our own and I had never been pregnant in my entire life. We buried ourselves in our work and did not seek help until four years later in 2016.
We were married for approximately five and a half years at this point. I knew there had to be an explanation. Why was my body failing me? My menstrual cycles were regular every month and nothing appeared to be out of the ordinary. I was grieved at the thought of getting help for the one thing I felt my body should do naturally and with ease.
In the spring of 2016, I was diagnosed with hypothyroidism and underwent a hysteroscopy to remove uterine polyps. Once my conditions were treated, we opted for natural-cycle IVF. NCIVF is when little to no hormonal injections are used in an IVF cycle. One to two eggs are retrieved for fertilization. Our first natural-cycle IVF treatment in July was canceled due to the non-fertilization of my egg. The second cycle was in August. I recall us eating at one of our favorite restaurants before the egg retrieval day. The alarm on my phone went off reminding me to administer my medication that would suppress ovulation. I stopped eating and made haste to the restroom. I giggled to myself thinking about what I was willing to do to grow our family. This cycle was a success and I gave birth in January of 2017.
For the couples currently experiencing infertility/IVF treatment, I know first-hand your frustrations, tears, and the loneliness you feel. I had one family member that I could relate to during our journey; it wasn’t enough. No one knew how to comfort me, so they listened. As a black woman, I felt isolated even more; it’s still taboo in my community. I felt shame at my RE’s office too and everyone was there for the same reason as us lol. Everywhere I went in public and when I logged onto social media there were expectant couples.
Once my husband and I submitted to our infertility and IVF journey, we were able to connect on a deeper level and move forward. We vowed to get through it together and without resentments. There was no use in pointing fingers and playing the blame game. Infertility is an emotional and arduous battle. Studies continually show that stress reduction helps tremendously, but it is difficult while in the midst. No matter your outcome, know that there’s an abundance of peace awaiting when you accept and surrender to the process.