Written by Lindsey Lederer, Guest Blogger
It’s true what they say – so much can change in a year. One year ago today I was two days away from my embryo transfer and I was full of hope, but my heart was guarded. I had been on this road before and both times I hit roadblocks. This time felt different. I had a different protocol and a different mindset. I had chosen a word to be my theme for 2018. My word of was “surrender”; To let things be as they may, and I took this to heart going into transfer day.
The journey of infertility for me was about letting go of the lack of control. I sought to let go of things out of my control and tried to focus on those things I could to help me gain confidence. One of the things I could control from the very beginning were the doctors that I chose to work with and the team I chose to help me on my journey.
Being in the Bay Area, I am fortunate to have so many great practices around me to choose from. I wanted to find the right one for me, however, and my advice to anyone looking to start or restart this journey is to make sure you’ve done your research – after all, your future children depend on it. I called around to a variety of clinics and described to the teams what I was looking for and, I think because I was able to articulate what I knew would be best for me, they matched me with the perfect doctor to accompany me on this journey.
I narrowed down the clinics by using the following websites and I would recommend them to anyone embarking on a fertility journey: https://www.sart.org/ which is helpful to see the success rates of the clinics, and https://www.fertilityiq.com/ which provides helpful reviews of clinics/doctors from patients as well as a variety of resources and articles about the infertility world.
I had met with other doctors before and wasn’t satisfied until I met with Dr. Reid. Dr. Reid was a good fit for me because she had the ability to be direct and at the same time deliver information in a practical yet sensitive way. She also was a great fit for me because she didn’t stand by a one size fits all protocol which I really appreciated. My advice to anyone going through this journey is to find your Dr. Reid. She’s one of my favorite people in the world, not only because she helped me get my beautiful little girl, but because she never lost hope and never stopped putting the pieces of my puzzle together. It’s easy to lose hope on this journey. It’s easy to want to throw in the towel. I was on the roller coaster for many years and experiences two miscarriages and 4 canceled FET cycles. I can remember being frantic and asking what else I could do, and Dr. Reid was always there to lay out the new plan of action and provide comfort.
At one point I was considering if I should go through another IVF cycle to make new embryos (I had 5 frozen at the time) and she said something to me that I will never forget. “I know it’s hard to see in the future Lindsey, but I see baby showers. I see the family you have always wanted; you have 5 beautiful embryos and I feel confident that we (I love how she always said ‘we’) can get you pregnant. If we get to a place where we need to make new embryos – we will. But for now, we aren’t there yet.”
When I interviewed clinics, this is exactly the kind of care I was looking for. Yes, I wanted a clinic that had great numbers and results on paper, but I wanted to work with a doctor that personalized my journey and provided optimism and assurance when the road got hard and that is what Dr. Reid did.
I just saw Dr. Reid last week and was able to introduce her to my daughter and it was hard to fight back the tears. My double rainbow baby was meeting the person who helped get her to us. A year later I would have never imagined being where I am today. I am beyond grateful and don’t take anything for granted. Find your Dr. Reid; it helps make the journey a little less daunting and when they can take the grey out of your saddest days to help clear the sky, it makes the journey more bearable.