Jairek Robbins, decorated performance coach and lifestyle entrepreneur, is out with a new book that may be right up your fertility alley. In his book “Live It!: Achieve Success by Living With Purpose” Robbins guides you through his step-by-step process for filling the gap between where you are today and where you want to be aka not pregnant to pregnant!
WTF sat down with Robbins to help you to become the happiest, healthiest, and most fulfilled version of yourself—and inspire you to help others do the same.
WTF: How can women going through fertility struggles lower stress in their lives?
JR: Anyone can lower stress in their lives, the real question is “do they want to?” It may sound crazy, but some people choose to be stressed out because deep down there’s a fear that’s hiding under the stress. That fear is different for everyone. However, if we can get to the root of the problem and face that fear and embrace that fear, it provides much liberation and thus the ability to let go of the stress.
I’ve heard many woman being told “you must lower the stress in your life, if you want to get pregnant”. The result: they start stressing over not getting stressed about anything. They stress over what they eat, how they sleep, etc. In the end, they may still not be embracing the fear, that they may never get pregnant.
You see, once we can stop running, hiding, and trying to change the possible truth, much liberation comes along with that. The body and mind can then relax and simply be at peace with what is.
This is often times why woman who end up adopting finding out shortly after, that they are finally pregnant. The question is, how do we get to that place sooner without the pain, the agony, the stress. The answer: we can’t. Once we can be at peace with that answer, we can reduce a lot of stress in our lives over thinking we are in control.
In short, my answer would be;
What is it you’re focusing on? Are you focusing on what’s right or what’s wrong? Are you focusing on what bad things might happen, or what great things have happened?
Lastly, I have an episode on JRCtv titled “What to do when shit hits the fan” and it’s really focused on stress management. Be sure to watch it and stop by the blog for a free download to help truly eliminate (a lot of) stress from your life!
WTF: Are there methods to teach the mind, body and spirit to get to a more relaxed place?
JR: This is really specific to every person. For me, meditation really cultivates a true centeredness within me.
For others, it may be yoga, running, creating, family time, giving back.
Therefore, I always recommend to make sure to do the things you truly love. That fill you up. That are great for you, great for others, and for the greater good.
Sometimes we don’t give ourselves enough time or even permission to bliss out, to relax, to do things for us because we are so busy with work, family, or friends that we put ourselves last.
So be sure to schedule time into your day and week for YOU
WTF: You talk about building an authentic happiness, but some women feel they cannot truly be happy until they have a baby. How can they get there?
JR: I love this question. In my new book “LIVE IT!”, I discuss a way to overcome such beliefs. Beliefs such as “I cannot truly be happy until…” is a incredibly LIMITING belief that really robs us of the happiness and freedom sitting right in front of us.
The way to change this belief is to challenge it with these questions:
Is it true?
Is it 1000% true without a sliver of a doubt otherwise?
With this belief who are you?
Without this belief who are you?
Now flip it around.
Is it true you can not be happy unless you have a baby?
Is it 1000% true that you can not happy without a baby ever and you never ever have been and that having a baby is the ABSOLUTE only thing that could make you happy?
With this belief who are you? (I’m not allowing myself to be happy with anything/anyone/any blessing that is CURRENTLY in my life. I’m not allowing myself to experience the blessings in my life.)
Without this belief who are you? (I feel there are other things that can and do make me happy. There are ways to be happy, there are people who are happy, there are things in my life that make me happy that do not involve a baby.)
Flip it around: I can be happy even if I do not have a baby. I am happy.
WTF: What’s the best way to support someone dealing with something difficult like infertility?
JR: Empathy can really do wonders especially for woman. Woman want their feelings to be felt. It’s helps them overcome the pain. What can really help is reminding them that there’s hope by sharing stories of inspiration. The stories where someone has gone through a similar situation and had a “happy ending” can really do wonders for the heart, mind and soul. It reminds that miracles do happen, that there is hope, and most importantly to not lose faith is what is possible.