It’s been about a week since we got our devastating news. Gabe and I have had time sorta (I started a brand new job last week) to hang on to each other, deal with our feelings and figure out our options. So here’s where we’re at…
We are going to do a 3rd round of IVF in the near future. There is a chance, albeit very small, that my body can make a healthy egg. An egg that, when biopsied, is determined to be chromosomally “normal.” In essence, we are hoping for a miracle. In the meantime I’m doing what ever I can to improve the quality of my eggs. (Some doctors don’t believe that there is anything that can be done, it’s simply a matter of genetics.) We are taking the advice of our Embryologist who says among other things more sleep, more water, vitamin E & C are helpful. Whatever the results of this 3rd round of IVF, we refuse to believe that we can never have our own baby. We just don’t accept that belief. We do however recognize that my body may need a little break from all the hormones, shots, medicine and general stress that comes with medical treatment.
With that said, Gabe and I are moving forward with adoption. Adoption is something I have always been open to, in fact I always imagined that after we had our own children we would adopt one or two more kids. Apparently, God’s plan for us is different. The thought of helping change the life of a child that needs a loving home brings me so much joy and I truly look forward to that.
Buuuut, have you ever looked into adoption? It is so complicated and confusing. First off there are a million agencies to chose from, how do we know which one to go with? Then there are so many choices to make…international, domestic, open adoption etc. And there’s the child itself, do we take whatever child is “next in line” looking for a home like special needs babies with alcohol or drug dependency or can we be more selective…chose a newborn, spend time with the mom while she’s pregnant, have a say in the crucial first moments and days of the child’s life. The options are unbelievably overwhelming. Not to mention, the process is very expensive (on top of the thousands we’ve already spent on fertility treatments) and it takes a very long time. Once we decide which route we’d like to go, an adoption can take up to a year and a half, maybe more. Ugh. It seems as though the sweet baby we dream of will never be in our arms.
So please do me a favor. If you are reading this, share this with your friends, post on your facebook page, email it to your family and maybe ask them to do the same. My husband and I want to provide a loving home to a baby that needs really good parents; to love and cherish the baby as our very own; to give that baby a beautiful life. I figured I’d check with you guys first, my network of support and strength and see if you know someone who is pregnant and is in a situation where she’s unable to provide for her baby? Maybe that’s you and you’re reading this right now? We would be honored if you would consider us as potential parents if that’s a decision you’re facing. Perhaps we are looking for a needle in a haystack, but I had to ask anyway? Meanwhile we will continue our path toward parenthood, praying for our sweet little baby and imagining the day when we are finally together.