Babe In My Heart, Blogs

Praying For Our Miracle

July 15, 2014

It’s been about a week since we got our devastating news. Gabe and I have had time sorta (I started a brand new job last week) to hang on to each other, deal with our feelings and figure out our options. So here’s where we’re at…

We are going to do a 3rd round of IVF in the near future. There is a chance, albeit very small, that my body can make a healthy egg. An egg that, when biopsied, is determined to be chromosomally “normal.” In essence, we are hoping for a miracle. In the meantime I’m doing what ever I can to improve the quality of my eggs. (Some doctors don’t believe that there is anything that can be done, it’s simply a matter of genetics.) We are taking the advice of our Embryologist who says among other things more sleep, more water, vitamin E & C are helpful. Whatever the results of this 3rd round of IVF, we refuse to believe that we can never have our own baby. We just don’t accept that belief. We do however recognize that my body may need a little break from all the hormones, shots, medicine and general stress that comes with medical treatment.

Gabe and I on our wedding day, believing we'd start our own family in no time.

Gabe and I on our wedding day, believing we’d start our own family in no time.

With that said, Gabe and I are moving forward with adoption. Adoption is something I have always been open to, in fact I always imagined that after we had our own children we would adopt one or two more kids. Apparently, God’s plan for us is different. The thought of helping change the life of a child that needs a loving home brings me so much joy and I truly look forward to that.

Buuuut, have you ever looked into adoption? It is so complicated and confusing. First off there are a million agencies to chose from, how do we know which one to go with? Then there are so many choices to make…international, domestic, open adoption etc. And there’s the child itself, do we take whatever child is “next in line” looking for a home like special needs babies with alcohol or drug dependency or can we be more selective…chose a newborn, spend time with the mom while she’s pregnant, have a say in the crucial first moments and days of the child’s life. The options are unbelievably overwhelming. Not to mention, the process is very expensive (on top of the thousands we’ve already spent on fertility treatments) and it takes a very long time. Once we decide which route we’d like to go, an adoption can take up to a year and a half, maybe more. Ugh. It seems as though the sweet baby we dream of will never be in our arms.

So please do me a favor. If you are reading this, share this with your friends, post on your facebook page, email it to your family and maybe ask them to do the same. My husband and I want to provide a loving home to a baby that needs really good parents; to love and cherish the baby as our very own; to give that baby a beautiful life. I figured I’d check with you guys first, my network of support and strength and see if you know someone who is pregnant and is in a situation where she’s unable to provide for her baby? Maybe that’s you and you’re reading this right now? We would be honored if you would consider us as potential parents if that’s a decision you’re facing. Perhaps we are looking for a needle in a haystack, but I had to ask anyway? Meanwhile we will continue our path toward parenthood, praying for our sweet little baby and imagining the day when we are finally together.

You Might Also Like

85 Comments

  • Reply cathie Watt July 15, 2014 at 7:30 pm

    have you considered a surrogate?

  • Reply Jamie July 15, 2014 at 7:39 pm

    Alexis,
    I have been so touched by you opening up and sharing your story. I even told my husband the other day I regret getting my tubes blocked because I wish I could do something to help you. You are in all our prayers and I’m sure that your moment with your sweet baby will come soon whatever the route may be.

  • Reply Michele July 15, 2014 at 7:45 pm

    Dearest Alexis,
    I have the most amazing sons ever. My oldest, now 23, is my adopted chosen most amazing miracle.
    We went through Idaho Youth Ranch Adoptions. Through this agency, you have the option of having semi or full open adoptions. Out adoption was semi open but since my some turned 18, I have chosen to have a (Facebook) relationship with his birth mother. We always left it up to him what type of relationship he wanted to have with her when he became old enough to decide and for him, he chose to not have any relationship with her at all. I would be lying to you if I hadn’t (secretly) breathed a sigh of relief and felt very glad “I was the only mother he needed!”
    Sixteen years after he was born, at the age of FORTY THREE!! Yep!! I unexpectedly found myself pregnant. With my new husband, now in a new state (California). I was from Boise and moved to San Diego with my then 10 year old for a job transfer.
    So, long story short (I know, already too late!) my miracles happened TWICE!!
    Prayers and good thoughts for your journey wherever it leads!!!

  • Reply Dawn Heath July 15, 2014 at 7:53 pm

    I don’t know of anyone looking for adoptive parents, but as a child who was adopted I applaud your decision. My parents who raised me were the best. I am sure you and Gabe will be awesome parents, and I will keep you in my prayers that you come across someone letting you fulfill your dream!

  • Reply Anonymous July 15, 2014 at 7:53 pm

    youllbe good!!!!!!!! crazy dago!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!lolol xoxo!!!!!!!!!

  • Reply Anonymous July 15, 2014 at 7:57 pm

    I have a reputable Christian agency if you need guidance. My husband and I are going through the exact same situation going on three years now. We strongly belie that God will bless us either through our own or adoption.
    Thanks, Monica Spiker

  • Reply Heather July 15, 2014 at 7:57 pm

    I just wanted to share with you that when I was 21 I put my daughter up for adoption. I was very fortunate to have someone walk into my life at the exact time when I was making this decision. It was an open adoption and she wanted to meet me when she turned 16. It was beautiful and we are growing a beautiful relationship and she has made me a grandma too. My advice to you is be open to all the possibilities and watch for signs. Stay in the question and dint go into conclusion. Everything happens in the perfect time. Things usually don’t happen as we plan just let God and the universe take care of you and soon you will have your family. Ask: what will it take to have the family I have been asking for??? Don’t try to figure it out just be in the question.
    By the way I was in SLC when I went through with my adoption. Might be a great place to explore.

  • Reply neil brown July 15, 2014 at 7:57 pm

    hello beautiful i miss you being on ch 10 news here in arizona you will be a great mother i will pray for you and your husband this week

  • Reply Kim Carlton July 15, 2014 at 7:59 pm

    Alexis, I will pray for you. God has the master plan. Trust in him and he will bless you.

  • Reply Carol Ann Bryant July 15, 2014 at 8:00 pm

    You are in my thoughts and prayers I’ll have a daughter who went to this process and they were successful they were told they would never have another child big guess what 12 years later we were blessed with another child… God does answer prayers… I hope this gives you hope…

  • Reply Margo Gibson July 15, 2014 at 8:01 pm

    I loved watching you every morn on fox 10AZ. Miss U too! Love that you and the inspiring Andrea are still friends…! I was adopted at birth, I’m 41 this year. I’ve been so blessed by my mom and dad that “choose me” I was always told that. I was “picked”. I would meet new people as a young child and announce ” I’m adopted I was chosen, picked out” Have meet my birth parents in the last 5 years and had a good experience. In the end I’M fooorever grateful for my mom and dad for “picking” me.

  • Reply Tiffany Myers July 15, 2014 at 8:02 pm

    Alexis and Gabe, the good Lord will provide when the time is right. If that means adoption first, then be it. My sister adopted her son and then 5 years later…surprise! She was pregnant. I was adopted, but within my family.

    Send prayers for the right choice to happen ๐Ÿ™‚

  • Reply Geoff Hawn July 15, 2014 at 8:03 pm

    Hi Alexis, I ‘am sorry to hear about your situation. My wife and I also can not have Children of our own because my wife has a seizure disorder which if they take her medicine away if she got pregnant could damage her bad, or she could die without medicine. We are in Arizona working with the state to foster to adopt children. It is a big process but were getting closer to getting started with a foster child first. Hang in there and we will be praying for you and your husband to be able to have your own child. God has a plan for you .
    God Bless,
    Geoff

  • Reply Stephanie July 15, 2014 at 8:05 pm

    You brightened our mornings in Phoenix and I know with all my heart you
    And your hubby will continue to do the same when God
    Brings you your little one ๐Ÿ™‚ keep being you and all your dreams will come true!

  • Reply SHIRLEY MYERS July 15, 2014 at 8:05 pm

    I WILL KEEP YOU AND GABE IN MY PRAYERS, GOD WILL BLESS YOU WITH A CHILD…. LOVE AND PRAYERS SHIRLEY J. MYERS
    TEMPE, AZ.

  • Reply renee July 15, 2014 at 8:08 pm

    Dear Alexis and gabe

    I know the pain that you are in..I am a grandmother now but t took 9 years for my husband and I to become pregnant…unfortunately we never could afford to adopt so we just relaxed and kept trying..god heard our prayers and blessed us with a beautiful daughter who is now giving me my second grandchild however my husband only knew his grandson for two years and won’t know this one. Children are such a blessing and I know god will answer your prayers. Happy to know you are considering adoption..my sister in law could never conceive, she now has 4 special needs children that her and her husband adopted and also fosters three more that are special needs..she and her husband are a real inspiration..good luck and may god grant your wishes.

  • Reply Cheryl July 15, 2014 at 8:10 pm

    Alexis, have you tried to consult with someone qualified to do acupuncture? One of my daughters had a very tough time getting pregnant and a daughter’s friend suffered many miscarriages before consulting with an expert in this field. If you haven’t tried it, maybe it’s time. God bless you and your husband in your quest to have a baby. It won’t take away from the incredible parents you can be to a little soul you didn’t give birth to. Sending positive thoughts to you both!!

  • Reply Deon Tillman July 15, 2014 at 8:17 pm

    Alexis and Gabe I will be praying for a miracle for you both. God has a plan for your lives and what ever it may be you both will be the best at it. I know the pressures, stress and time hassle of adopting, as I am going through it right now and it will FINALLY be done July 23. I wish you both the absolute best and remember “It’s not over till GOD says it’s over”. Don’t let anyone tell you it can’t and won’t happen. We have a awesome man upstairs who can do wonders. Miss you back here in Az, take care be blessed.

  • Reply Wendi July 15, 2014 at 8:18 pm

    My Brother and his wife adopted a son after many attempts to have a child. It was a four year process in the US but my sweet nephew was worth it. No matter how long it takes keep your head up and don’t give up. They are in the process of adopting a second child now.

  • Reply Kimberly July 15, 2014 at 8:24 pm

    Alexis, I am not one to comment on blogs but after reading yours via Andrea Robinson FB page, I felt the need to make a comment. You have already heard words of compassion, love, support, grief, sorrow etc. That is not the purpose of my comment because I know first hand that words are nice but it doesn’t take the pain away. I can’t say I know exactly what you feel, but I can probably sympathize some. My husband and I wanted a family and I was able to get pregnant right away. Thinking that this was an easy process, we told everyone the good news. Shortly after, I loss my pregnancy, my child. I was devistated. It felt like all of a sudden everyone around me was getting pregnant, some planned, some not, some it would be there 4th or 5th child and here we were, just wanting 1. Just praying for the chance to have just 1! How was it fair that there were so many having babies they didn’t want or couldn’t take of and I couldn’t even hold a pregnancy. I did everything right. I was young, healthy, took good care of myself, had a good and stable life. It just wasn’t fair. It was more than painful to deal with, it was excruciating. My heart literally ached inside. By the grace of God I was able to get pregnant again and have a beautiful little boy whom we named Graison ( after Gods loving and everlasting grace). Don’t give up hope although it may feel like there’s none left. I have 4 ladies in my life who have had a situation just like yours. One was finally able to get pregnant after 10 years of IVF and has an amazing little boy, another just had twin boys after several rounds of IVF, a family member was told she would never conceive even with IVF and after 7 years of giving up had a miraculous pregnancy totally unexplained by doctors and has an amazing 1 year old girl. I do have a friend, however, that did not have success with IVF and did an adoption within the US and it was such an amazing experience for them. You will be a mommy, however it happens. I know you feel pain but know there are many praying. Don’t give up. I’m witness to so many miracles of live. I’m a forever believer that there is always hope. Praying for you two. ๐Ÿ™‚

  • Reply tasha July 15, 2014 at 8:26 pm

    Alexis, have you tried or considered using donor eggs? I was an egg donor and wouldn’t mind doing it again. Just because the egg isn’t from your body doesn’t mean it’s not your baby. You will still carry it and feel all the magic. It is , like many other things, another option and suggestion. I am praying you both find your destined path and create your family however it comes to you both.

  • Reply RHG July 15, 2014 at 8:33 pm

    Wishing adoption would be so easy my sister has had the same problem and thankfully God Blessed her with a little miracle girl (adoption) and though the International process is very difficult the wait is worth the end. she was blessed with a newborn from Mexico. So I will keep her and you in my prayers GB

  • Reply Lori G. July 15, 2014 at 8:39 pm

    Alexis, we are praying for you & Gabe! We have missed you since you left AZ, but did get to see you a couple times on our trips to CA.

    I have to share the story of my daughter. Endometriosis caused many fertility problems for her. After surgeries for that, and several IVF attempts, she & her husband were at a similar crossroad as you are. They decided to adopt international. After several months of waiting, they got a referral and made plans to go to Vietnam to bring their baby home. A miracle happened, she found out she was pregnant! That baby boy is now 6 yrs old, and has a brother 4 & another brother 19 mo old. My daughter conceived each of them after doctors would tell her she would never have any more.

    I hear of this so many times, couples having problems with IVF, then adopting and turning up pregnant all on their own.

    I know it is so hard to be strong & have faith when faced with what you are going through. I saw it with my daughter.

    Know that we are praying for you & that God will guide you every step of the way.

    Grace, Peace, Love & many blessings to you

  • Reply kristy martin July 15, 2014 at 8:40 pm

    Hang in there girl! My hubby and I had fertility treatments for 3 years – the fertility specialists told us it was probably time to give up – I had low egg count and bad quality. We gave up and started living our life with what we thought was no children – a year later we went to a Brad Paisley convert and kicked back and had fun and I got pregnant naturally! I had a healthy baby girl and when she was 8 months we went to a friends wedding and to our surprise we got pregnant again with a healthy baby boy! The fertility specialist had told me my chances of ever getting pregnant were slim to none. The don’t know everything – only God does and he has a plan for you! I’m praying for you and sending you baby dust! By the way I’m adopted and adoption is also pretty amazing too (:

  • Reply Mary Adams July 15, 2014 at 8:42 pm

    Alexis, so sorry to hear you are having such problems conceiving. Will certainly keep you and your husband in my prayers. We miss you here in Phoenix.

  • Reply Kristi Tilghman July 15, 2014 at 8:46 pm

    I know how sensitive this who situation is to everyone involved, therefore, I am posting what I about to post because I have seen so many get pregnant, overcome PCOS and other fertility issues. Check out my website at http://www.plexusgurl.com – and then google about it. It’s worth a shot and all natural, so you won’t be dealing with hormones, injections, etc. I am praying for y’all. I know God has something BIG you for!!!

  • Reply Jocelyn July 15, 2014 at 8:48 pm

    I am the adoptive mother of a little boy from the foster care system through a process known as foster to adopt. He came to us at 4 months old… the process was not too long ( in fact we have friends who got licensed in under 3 months and got placed 3 days later) it’s also almost completely free! Some of that depends on the state you reside in. I would love to give you more information… please feel free to contact me. But I will suggest you read Instant Mom by Nia Vardalos There’s about 375,000 foster children here in the US just waiting… please prayerfully consider it.

  • Reply Lea July 15, 2014 at 9:01 pm

    Alexis,

    Praying for you and Gabe. Have you thought about seeing a naturopathic doctor? I live in Flagstaff and had multiple miscarriages before I was ever able to finally have a healthy child. I too was told that I would never be able to have children by numerous specialists and St. Joes. I surly did not give up my dream and today I am a mom to 3 beautiful children. The body is so wry complicated and the mere fact of getting the right combination of nutrients is essential for fertility. I never really believed in alternative medicine until I started havi multiple in diagnosable symptoms that my regular doctors couldn’t figure out. I always knew my body didn’t carry enough Holmes to support a pregnancy, but was always told that “everything was normal and in range.” One day I had had enough and went to see this naturopathic doctor who I had heard many wonderful things about. She corrected my deficiencies and helped me rebalance my body. I would HIGHLY recommend that you visit Dr. Emily Davenport, who is a naturopathic doctor and MD who specializes in the endocrine system and fertility issues. Her office is amazing and I’ve seen them do miraculous things, like cure cancer. Her success rate is off the charts, and I believe she could get your body where it needs to be to produe healthy eggs to have a baby. I believe she may have an office in Scottsdale, as well. But I’m not positive. She is the head doctor and practices in Flagstaff at the Flagstaff Nautropathic Clinic. Please consider going her a try. My thoughts and prayers are with you on this difficult journey.

  • Reply Brenda July 15, 2014 at 9:02 pm

    Praying for you. Don’t lose hope. My sister had one ovary removed. Two operations on the second one, the last time almost lost it and dr said it was almost impossible for her to conceive. After 7 yrs of trying in between operations, and many prayers, one day it just happened. My beautiful nephew will be 2yrs old in October ๐Ÿ™‚ and is the healthier boy ever. So keep on pressing on. Praying your miracles comes true ๐Ÿ™‚

  • Reply Jocelyn July 15, 2014 at 9:07 pm

    Oh and the show Lisa Ling’s Our America did a show titled “Children of the System” please watch.

  • Reply Momma llama July 15, 2014 at 9:07 pm

    When I was in my early 20’s I was told it was “me” who could not have children and not my husband. It was something that took the breath from my chest and made my heart sink. I had a laparoscopy for endometriosis and the next cycle had become pregnant with my first son. Followed less than a year later by my daughter. 8 years later I had a massive lower abdominal surgery for scar tissue and told more children would not be an option. Well less than 6 months later I was pregnant with my now 2 year old miracle baby. I gave up hope but it was not in my cards. I also considered being a surrogate after my daughters birth for a couple who could not have their own children. Had they changed their mind I would have loved to have helped them. Please know if you give up hope, there may always be a chance that your plan is not yet finished.

  • Reply Sharon July 15, 2014 at 9:15 pm

    I will be praying for you two. I was blessed with 3 very happy and healthy children of my own and I truly hope you will be able to have a family of your own soon. But I just wanted to say that a very dear friend of mine went through years and, not to mention, thousands of dollars for the same treatments and never got pregnant. Within months of her stopping the treatments, they got pregnant on their own and she now has 4 beautiful kids that were all naturally conceived. So I think taking a break from the treatments is a great idea. And weather you do have a family on your own or by adopting, I believe you guys will make the best parents ever. Keep your head up and continue to surround yourself with positive energy. PS, PHOENIX MISSES YOU. ๐Ÿ™‚

  • Reply Anonymous July 15, 2014 at 9:20 pm

    My brother and sister in law adopted through the agency by the name of Bethany. Such a wonderful experience.

  • Reply Loretta Carbajal July 15, 2014 at 9:25 pm

    Sending our prayers your way. Thanks to Andrea Robinson we were able to follow your story. God bless you and we’ll be praying for you every step of the way.

  • Reply margaret tuzon July 15, 2014 at 9:29 pm

    So sorry to hear this, you have my prayers.. I don,t think there is any greater gift then to give a baby a home and your love..I am sure God already has a baby in mind for you and your husband…

  • Reply Melissa July 15, 2014 at 9:36 pm

    God has his own plan for you. Children are previous wether or not they are biologically yours or not. Their are so many children that need good homes, here and over seas. Any child would be blessed to have a loving family as you describe you and your husband. Keep an open mind, God works in mysterious ways. It will work out.

  • Reply Becky July 15, 2014 at 10:07 pm

    Alexis,
    Both my children are adopted. We worked directly with a few of the wonderful adoption attorneys here in Phoenix. Very affordable compared to adoption agencies. If you would like more information please e-mail me. My children are now 17 and 21 and continue to be the greatest blessing imaginable. Good luck on your journey.

  • Reply Lorna Bank July 15, 2014 at 10:11 pm

    Hi there. I am Ashley’s stepmom. Not sure if anyone has ever mentioned this to you before but it was so extraordinary in my personal story, I thought I would share with you. In my first marriage we tried to get pregnant for 16 years but it never happened. I went to a new obgyn at the suggestion of a friend and when he heard my story the first question he asked me was how much coffee I drank. At that time I drank a lot and I told him so. He said “I want you to stop drinking coffee for 30 days. “. I said ( mistakenly) “oh! So it’s the caffeine! “. He said “no! It’s not about the caffeine, you can have caffeine in tea and other things….it’s the coffee, both caffeinated and decaf” Then he went on to tell me there was a little known , little publicized study that showed in some women coffee acts as a birth control element. He said his wife finally conceived after they had been trying for years and years ……after she stopped drinking coffee. So I stopped all coffee immediately…. And was pregnant with 30 days! 9 months later I gave birth to a healthy 9 lb 13 oz boy ( after an easy pregnancy) at two weeks shy of my 38th birthday. He is 22 today. There is no other explanation …. I was one of those few women for whom coffee acted as a birth control device!! Just thought I would share. Sending you and you husband live and support !!

  • Reply christy July 15, 2014 at 10:18 pm

    When I was in my early 20s I donated eggs through alternative conceptions in augoura hills ca.if u decide to go that route u pick the girl and they use ur husbands sperm. Best of luck and prayers your way

  • Reply Ginny Clem July 15, 2014 at 11:39 pm

    Dear Alexis,

    Have you thought about becoming a foster parent while waiting for you own bundle of joy? It is an amazing feeling to know that you are helping a much needed child and give them hope of having a blessed home. I grew up in foster care for a couple of years and really had a loving family with them! Sometimes this is an option as there are so many that need a great home and sometimes it works out were they are adoptable as well. This is the amazing part!! Just wanted to share that and please consider all your options as you take the time to blossom and enjoy life as it is what God has planned for you right now. Much Love my friend! ๐Ÿ™‚

  • Reply Michelle July 15, 2014 at 11:40 pm

    Have you ever considered being a foster parent? I know you probably haven’t considered this avenue. I’m in Real Estaye and have met couples who have adopted their infant foster children. There are so many children looking and needing good parents:). I will pray for you:)

  • Reply Anonymous July 16, 2014 at 12:29 am

    I believe this will help you. It can’t hurt to try it. Sending prayers your way. God bless.

    http://www.terrymizeministries.org/sncb.php

  • Reply Anonymous July 16, 2014 at 12:30 am

    http://www.terrymizeministries.org/sncb.php

  • Reply Mrs Mae July 16, 2014 at 12:42 am

    Hang in there it will soon come, I was married for 10 years before I had a child, so I adopted a little boy three years I got pregnant with two beautiful twins girls.

  • Reply Belinda July 16, 2014 at 1:14 am

    Hi wishing you the best to be a mommy please check out this website. Herbdoc.com Dr. Schulze has a natural treatment that says will make you have a baby check out his blog and ebooks for free he’s the best at what he does you’ll have your body ready for your baby!! ๐Ÿ™‚

  • Reply Holly W. July 16, 2014 at 1:34 am

    Hello,
    My ex-husband and I used Karen Lane in Los Angeles (Santa Monica) to adopt our son. We met her in January 1993 (on the advice of his boss, who had a friend use her; my ex was a district manager for a chain of restaurants at the time) and our son was born, and adopted at birth, in October of that same year. So yeah, 9 months later!
    She has worked with many celebrities, we saw photos of them in her office. We weren’t wealthy, but managed to pay for it. I too went through fertility treatments but we gave up on that and went the adoption route.
    You can choose the amount of contact you wish with the birth parent(s), she will match you with someone with the same desires. We met the birth mom prior to the birth in Texas, and other than sending her some photos the first year, we had no contact.
    Karen Lane is still in business and has a website. Good luck and whatever you decide!
    Regards,
    Holly W.

  • Reply Candice Lewis July 16, 2014 at 3:06 am

    Your story was so touching and I can’t help but pass it on. I wish that I was something I could do for you myself . My husband and I had our first daughter at 14. Got married at 20. Second daughter at 21 and 3rd at 25. But it gets just a little bit harder as you get older but not impossible. With technology now women are having children long beyond their life expectancy long ago lol. I truly believe that god has a plan for us and when things are right it will happen. Look at how many cases there are of people who struggle for years of trying and trying abd doing multiple methods and spending thousands of dollars and it’s the time that they finally take a break or give up and relax and STOP trying that they finally conceive It just happened with my cousin she’s s stickler for planning ahead for everything she planned a year in advance took prenatal a a year in advance saw an OBGYN a year in advance and after 2 years she didn’t get pregnant…. So she stopped. And the month after she stopped the vitamins and the ovulation calendar and the temperature taking she conceived. But didn’t know it because she wasn’t tracking it :). I got pregnant with my last 2 on birth control My youngest brother in law was conceived a couple weeks after my father in law had a vasectomy !!!! ( lab gave my father in law the wrong results ! Ahhh). And my mother in law was adopted. Her sister was also adopted because her adopted parents were told they could never have kids….. So they adopted 2 children I’m their late 30s…. Well guess what. In their 40s…… They conceived their own son !!!!!! So. It just goes to show that if The Lord wants you to be here, your going to be here, never lose faith And if you happen to be lucky enough to be adoptive or foster parents while you wait for your turn to conceive your own child then your going to be even better parents ! Anyone who would be willing to take on a child that isn’t theirs and give them a chance at a better life are angels sent from above and for that alone The Lord will surely bless you with a child of your own ! I could only hope to meet a couple like you someday ! ๐Ÿ™‚ I wish you nothing but the best on your journey and hope you will keep us all updated on you progress and in the future if you ever take the route of surrogacy or the need of egg donation let me know , being able to help someone with the gift of life , is indescribable it’s something that can never be put into words and if I could donate and help at least one family be able to feel whe way I felt when I held my baby for the first time , nothing could feel more rewarding, no job, no promotion,no career , no nothing,……. I never gave any of my children up for adoption , one because emotionally I wasn’t strong enough and also because I had all my family and my boyfriends family there to help. But I praise all the woman who are strong enough and selfless enough to know what’s best for their baby and give them to someone who can give them a better life. It also gives people who can’t have children a chance to have a baby and build a family :). It was so touching ready your story and I hope to read an update soon !

  • Reply Theresa July 16, 2014 at 3:27 am

    My heart goes out to both you and your husband. I pray that you get what you need for your happiness. We miss you in Phoenix!

  • Reply Melissa July 16, 2014 at 4:27 am

    I just found out about your struggles via Andrea Robinson (I’m in AZ and used to watch you on Fox 10). I have three friends who suffered through infertility, as well. All three went through tens of thousands of dollars in IVF. One was blessed with success. Another just received their very own baby girl via adoption. Yet another still waits for their adoptee child. So, you see, it can go any which way. I KNOW it is extremely difficult to believe, but the right thing will come your way. There is a plan for you and your husband and it will be the right one. In the meantime, I will be praying for you both. You and gave are strong enough to get through this!

  • Reply OV July 16, 2014 at 5:19 am

    Pray to the Virgin Mary

  • Reply Anonymous July 16, 2014 at 5:19 am

    Have you thought of foster care? A lot of children get adopted that way. You can pick the age and gender you would like and the process takes around eight momths. Id check out arizonas childrens association!

  • Reply Anonymous July 16, 2014 at 5:32 am

    i will pray for you guys………I hope your dreams come true :)………..

  • Reply Lois July 16, 2014 at 6:02 am

    While you are considering your adoption options, please consider the beautiful and amazing children for adoption in our foster care systems. While many of these children have medical problems, they are also the ones that so desperately need a stable and loving family to call their own. Blessings to your family and good luck with your journey!!

  • Reply Amy July 16, 2014 at 6:06 am

    My family has done private adoptions and county adoptions. Honestly you can not go wrong, the love and joy of a child in your life will be the same, it is the process that is different. I don’t know anything about foregin adoption, I can tell you private adoption you can be very specific on what you want, hair color, boy/girl, and the process is a lot easier to get a newborn. County adoptions you must chose what is available, and yes there are some kids with a lot of health issues. I had a friend adopt 2 children born addictited to drugs and they are now both thriving young adults. Private adoption is costly, county is very minimal and the children will receive college help later in life along with medical ins. Each county is different. Hope this helps and goo cluck.

  • Reply Hazel July 16, 2014 at 6:09 am

    Alexis, It took my daughter 15 years…after surgery, numerous fertility treatment, but today she has 2 healthy, beautiful boys, ages 12 and 14. Continue to trust God in this. He has a plan and it will all happen in His time. It will. God bless you and Gabe.

  • Reply Jennifer July 16, 2014 at 6:14 am

    I have two beautiful and amazing children through adoption. They are”my own children” – being a parent is about selflessly loving a child not about creating a genetic reproduction of yourself.

  • Reply Susan Lynd July 16, 2014 at 6:16 am

    I think you should go to Tucson and be with all those kids from Central America. Have you thought of starting an orphanage? I wish I could go rescue all those kids. I was in Nicaragua 3 years ago on a mission trip so I saw first-hand starving and abused children. You should contact New Hope Children’s Foundation. They are in desperate need for people to adopt from their orphanage. I can get you in touch with the director if you are interested.

  • Reply Valli Moore July 16, 2014 at 6:20 am

    My heart and prayers go out to you and your husband. I have 3 children. One who is my natural born child and the other two I adopted. I got pregnant right after I got married (that was a surprise). After my daughter I had two tubal pregnancies. I never wanted to have just one child. We started the adoption process with Los Angeles County Dept of Children and family services. We wanted a newborn baby girl…..our first adopted child was a 3 1/2 year old boy. He is now 21 years old and even though he is a pain sometimes we love him to death. Our second one was a 16 month old baby girl. Again, she can be a pain but we can’t imagine our lives without either one of them. There are no fees to adopt through the County. If you need help or want to talk please contact me. Wishing you all the best. Valli…PS my advice would be to start the adoption application……then you at least have the paperwork started. You can always say no but at least you have started the process. Good luck to you!!!

  • Reply Gretchen July 16, 2014 at 6:33 am

    Hi Alexis and Gabe- I am so sorry you are experiencing this, my heart aches for you. Sending you prayers and love for a healthy IVF, and a beautiful adoption experience as well! Miracles happen everyday <3

    Sending Love from PHX!!
    Gretchen

  • Reply Alice Sabre July 16, 2014 at 6:35 am

    I did if three times the kast one took I got twins. My secret is wait in between the second and third and than don’t tell anyone u doing the third round even after it takes don’t tell anyone until u fourth month.NO STRESS DON’T WORRY BE HAPPY. IF IT IS meant to be it will be. Also looking to foster care where there is lots of kids out there that are ready to be adopted. Less expensive that way. The state pays for u adoption fee. Good luck if God wants u to have kids u will. Put God in the center and believe everything will come together.

  • Reply Erica July 16, 2014 at 7:41 am

    Check out Christian Adoption Consultants! Christ honoring agency who helps adoptive parents find babies quickly and ethically! Just competed our first adoption with then and will be a repeat client again!

  • Reply Cheryl July 16, 2014 at 7:59 am

    I struggled with infertility for years. It even broke up the relationship I was in when it became apparent that we had a 1% chance of creating and carrying a healthy baby even after an invasive surgery. After much contemplation, and some guidance from the Resolve Foundation, I came to terms with the fact that there are multiple issues involved: Being Pregnant, Genetic links, and actual Parenting. After everything I had been through I realized that, no matter what, I still wanted to be a parent. But with all the emotional stuff I had already been through, I couldn’t take the standard domestic process with birth mother solicitations and potential long term relationships that were tenuous at best. I attended a Resolve workshop called “Where in the World is My Baby”, and shortly after began the adoption process in Russia. My girl has been with me for 11 years now (she is 12). Yes, we have dealt with some issues, but my adoption agency helped create a support system to I could always find somewhere to ask for help when I needed it. The thing about adoption is that there are no preconceived notions about what this child is. Since we are not linked genetically, I had no idea what to expect so I am open to all possibilities with her. The funny thing is, when I arrived in Russia, not having seen any photos of this baby that was supposed to suddenly become my family, our facilitator looked at me and said “your baby has your eyes”! And when I met my daughter, in the middle of winter, in the middle of Siberia, in a remote orphanage, it was like a huge weight was lifted from me. All I could think of was “oh, this is why I had to come so far. This is MY baby. I just had to find her”.
    Many people do not come to adoption as a first route. I had always thought I would have 2 of my own, then adopt. That didn’t turn out to my path, but I do know that Anikka was meant to be my daughter. I just had to find her.
    Good luck with your journey. You will have your baby, or babies, one way or another.
    best,
    Cheryl

  • Reply Bethany E. July 16, 2014 at 8:01 am

    Hi Alexis,

    We are also unable to conceive (though I do wish your dreams of fertility miracles come true). An adoption counselor advised me to subscribe to adoptive parents magazine/check the blog for help on where to start. We aren’t sure which route we will pursue yet, but this resource and the state mandated classes for prospective adoptive parents have been very helpful. One piece of advice I received is to keep an adoption blog for mothers to read sharing what you do with your life, as a family, how you plan to interact with and raise baby, etc. Seems like you’re already blogging, so perhaps you could start writing about your desire to adopt.

    I also advise turning off reactions to what I call the “cult of mommy” that is everywhere these days. The Facebook posts of embryos, the Pinterest-y baby showers, the constant status updates about how rewarding it is to be a mother in the traditional sense. The child is the most important thing, not the mommy, not how the baby came to be, and we often get distracted by all the noise around this issue. It has helped a lot for me to RSVP “no” to showers and unfollow individuals who feel the constant need to be a part of the cult.

    In loving kindness ๐Ÿ™‚

  • Reply peggy jones July 16, 2014 at 8:39 am

    God needs a little push on this one, so I’m putting my novenas to a little saint, Teresa, to urge immediate help! We are all so with you guys and something good is going to happen..just a feeling. Keep happy and we send love to you, peggy

  • Reply Lisa Meade July 16, 2014 at 8:53 am

    Congratulations on your decision to adopt…I know how difficult IVF is and how heartbreaking the process can be. Whatever adoption path you choose will be amazing…I remember our adoption counselor a told us to pick the situation that felt best for our family…our son is now 13 months and is so happy & healthy. From the moment he was born we knew he was meant to be part of our family! It’s been a huge blessing and a lesson that love is unconditional no matter what “package” they come in.

  • Reply Cathy July 16, 2014 at 11:59 am

    Alexis, my husband and I had very similar experiences to yours in our many attempts with fertility and failed proceedures. Even after two years of waiting for an adoption and a placement of a new born baby boy in our home, the birth mother changed her mind and the baby was immediately returned. We were so devastated and lost. As our final attempt, we tried embryo adoption. I always wanted to carry a child. To experience motherhood firsthand. There are several agencies available. We found an amazing one in Knoxville TN. Amazing staff and doctor. Find a reputable one, right for you. This little known, inexpensive (compared to. IVF) proceedure brought us the most amazing blessing. Twin girls. Healthy happy twin girls. My sis in law suggested I write you. I know everyone’s journey is different. I pray you find your hearts desire on your journey to parenthood. It can be arduous. Good luck. If you have questions about embryo adoption I would be happy to answer. Good luck and god bless.

  • Reply Lisa B July 16, 2014 at 12:18 pm

    Prayers to you! We have chosen too adopt through foster care and have been very blessed by AASK. We have had friends who also live Christian Family Care as well. These poor kiddos come with nothing and we get to pour out love upon them. I pray God will clearly lead you down your path.

  • Reply Lori Gronlund July 16, 2014 at 1:00 pm

    Alexis, I will be praying for you and your Husband. My Husband and I had a somewhat similar journey, although for us it was issues with his sperm. After 4 IUIs, 3 egg retreivals, and 6 failed embryo transplants, we were almost ready to give up. After much thought and prayer we decided to use donor sperm. With the first IVF cycle after that, we welcomed fraternal twin boys. The road was very hard and took a major emotional toll. Just remember….you ARE NOT ALONE! Hugs!!

    BTW, not sure what IVF protocol you are on, but I got much better egg quality after the switched me to a “luteal lupron” protocol.

  • Reply sandra weaver July 16, 2014 at 2:04 pm

    Hi Alexis & Gabe Continue to trust God: My daughter was told she would never be able to conceive and lo & behold she calls me & says Im pregnant at 34 yrs old..we were all shocked. My granddaughter is now 21 & doing great. My 2nd daughter was adopted thru Maricopa cty foster care newborn.She was born w/ bi-lateral cleft-palate -lip. Blessings of favor for your special baby waiting to be in your arms.

  • Reply The Mullens July 16, 2014 at 2:06 pm

    We have been there. Two inseminations, and two IVFs with no embryos surviving past 3 days. My biggest advice is to make sure you give yourself time to grieve, because if you enter adoption with the mindset that you are seeking a replacement for your biological child, or a substitute mother position, you may start off on the wrong foot. There is a painful and beautiful morphing that happens as you go from biological mother to adoptive mother, and come to see what (potentially) is the fulfilling role that you were always meant to be for a very very lucky little life. We have 2 adoptive girls, and over 3 years I have healed to the point of being grateful for the infertility hardship, pain, and loss as it lead me to being with my daughters. I would do it all again, to have my girls.

  • Reply Lisa July 16, 2014 at 3:37 pm

    My husband was adopted. His mom always told him growing up “You may not have grown in my belly, but you grew in my heart.” Makes me tear up every time!

  • Reply Carol July 16, 2014 at 5:29 pm

    I am praying for you and your husband to start a family soon. I am adopted, as well as my sister and brother. We came from different families, but we had great parents. My mom had eight mis carriages and they wanted kids, so after having eight mis carriages they decided to adopt us eighteen months apart, I am the middle child. But their is another option to think about, have someone carry a baby for you.
    Also my step daughter was told she could never have kids and nine years later she has a kind, caring, loving son. So Alexis and Gabe I know Heavenly Father will bless you with kids no matter how it is meant to be.
    If you happen to adopt kids with special needs just know Heavenly Father knows you can meet all the challenges that come with raising a special needs child. I know, my youngest is special needs.

  • Reply jenn July 16, 2014 at 6:17 pm

    Praying for you and your husband. I can’t have children of my own and haven’t been able to in years since 2005 I got diagnosed with ovarian cancer. It’s been hard for me to deal with.

  • Reply Erin S. July 16, 2014 at 6:24 pm

    Praying for you Alexis! After not being able to have our own children, my husband and I decided to try domestic adoption. After two very painful matches that resulted in the birth moms deciding to keep their babies; I was ready to give up. But God had a plan and the perfect child for us. We were matched a third time and the experience was wonderful! I got to attend doctors appointments with the birth mom and we were right outside the delivery room when our precious Isaac was born. I wouldn’t trade him for any other baby. It took two and a half years to adopt him, painful experiences, and tears; but our son is the perfect child for us. Trust in God, pray, and hold onto each other. There is joy and beautiful children in your future. God has just the right ones picked out for you.

  • Reply Kay July 16, 2014 at 8:58 pm

    My husband and I already had one grown son and another one who was a teenager when we were asked to take into our home a 14 month old little boy. This was something we weren’t expecting at all! We were looking forward to traveling just the two of us after 25 years of marriage. CPS asked us to adopt him within just a few months of having him in our home and we couldn’t wait to make him ours! He is no different than our biological children. We love him just as much! God definitely had different plans for us and we couldn’t be happier with His choice. Good luck & God bless!

  • Reply Dawn Craig July 17, 2014 at 6:25 am

    God does work in mysterious ways. He does things in his timing not ours and most of the time we don’t understand why. Put your faith in God He always comes through with the best for us. Prayers are going out for you and your husband

  • Reply Elizabeth Greene July 17, 2014 at 6:41 am

    Have you considered fostering a child(ren) in need? I know adoption is appealing for a variety of reasons, but take a look at the foster care system. These kids need stable homes and loving parents. If you are open to adoption, look into fostering within the state of Arizona. I know of parents who fostered an infant from a drug addict mother, and they won sole custody before the baby was 1 year old. They also were told they can’t have kids naturally, but I know this baby makes them happy and complete.

  • Reply Adam July 17, 2014 at 7:45 am

    We have been through it all, IUI’s,IVF’s, 4 transfers, heavily researched adoption, 6 yrs & 130K+ later, I have two words for you: Donor Eggs…

    Took us a while to grapple with it, best decision we ever made.

    We were unexplained infertility too.

    Keep n chuggin along! Wife is pregnant as well as our gestational carrier with twin boys in different wombs lol…crazy long story…don’t give up.

  • Reply Caro July 17, 2014 at 10:29 am

    Hi Alexis,

    I am so sorry to hear about what you are going through. Please, know that I have tremendous sympathy for you right now. This really hits home for me. See, I am birthmother who placed her daughter for open adoption with parents just like you. They spent years and years trying to have a baby. They tried IVF for almost 4 years and did not succeed. I came here to tell you that you are not alone and that you are loved. Whatever God’s plan is for you is going to beautiful! If adoption is His plan I can tell you that it is life changing—even from my perspective. I gained a new family through open adoption. I get to see my daughter grow and that is truly what is best for her. Knowing she was not “given up”, but placed into a loving home I myself chose for her. Whatever happens I wanted to share an open adoption perspective from the adoption center I placed my daughter through. I believe in open adoption because I experienced it firsthand and I have seen the gift I gave a couple. God is SO good. <3 http://vimeo.com/69023598

  • Reply Sheryl Williamson July 17, 2014 at 7:33 pm

    I am the Aunt to six wonderful adopted nieces and nephews; including a set of twins and two African-Americans kids. Along with agencies, my siblings had much success with just TELLING THE WORLD

  • Reply Sheryl Williamson July 17, 2014 at 7:38 pm

    ….that they were looking to adopt! They included info in their Christmas letter – posted it on the internet and family and friends told family and friends. They began getting calls from college friends who had referrals to moms they knew who were considering adoption. Several of our adopted kiddos were quick and private in the process – with an attorney fee and the judge’s seal of approval. Agencies are wonderful — but aggressive and loving word of mouth can be extremely effective and beneficial for all parties concerned. Blessings and Best Wishes!

  • Reply Crystal July 17, 2014 at 11:36 pm

    Hi Alexis, you will get that baby you have long awaited for. I am mother of a child that I have gave up for adoption by choice. She was a friend of my mother’s and she thought she could not gave kids. When I got pregnant I was lost cause I was a single mom with 2 kids already. It was an awesome experience the adopted mother was right by my side thoughout my pregnancy. She lived in a different state but she was here for the birth and she took him home straight from the hospital. It was like I carried him for 9 months and she took over from there. He is now a smart 9 years old. Keep god in your heart and he will bless you guy’s soon. We love you from Phoenix, Az.

  • Reply Jenny July 18, 2014 at 5:28 am

    There is not much that gets to me now days. I have hit a point in my life where I feel like God has givin up on me. (Sad but true) My mom sent me this link a couple days ago because she knows a little bit about what I’m going through. This story really and truly touched my heart. Hi I am Jenny. I do not know what it is like to go through so much to have a baby in your arms. I am actually on the other end of things. I am 16 weeks pregnant and I too want to do adoption. I have a little boy who is 3 years old and he is my heart and soul. I cannot raise another baby on my own again and even at that, I couldn’t afford to even if I wanted to. You are completely right when you say there are so many different adoption agency’s and family’s and do I choose an open or closed adoption. I find myself back to square one all the time! I have heard through a few people that a private adoption is so much easier then going through an agentcy. But who am I to be giving out helpful advice when I can’t even take my own. I hope everything works out for you.

  • Reply Renetta Wilson February 1, 2017 at 6:27 am

    After 6 years trying to conceive I finally got pregnant 3 weeks after I visited Priest Aluta website http://voodoospell.webs.com/ / It was simply amazing. I had history of recurrent miscarriages and was also diagnosed with genetic problems but using your system I got pregnant with your herbs at age 44& after 2 HSGs and 4 negative IUIs including 6 induction Clomid cycles and laparscopy. God will bless you and your good work more and more. I am recommending your program to all my friends contact him today to get pregnant visit his website http://voodoospell.webs.com/

  • Reply nicole alex February 22, 2017 at 11:26 am

    I was married at 32 and immediately tried to get pregnant. When I was unable to conceive I had blood tests for fertility and was told that I had an FSH (follicle stimulating hormone) of 54 and would not be able to have children. Even though the doctors knew that I had been diagnosed with Hashimoto’s thyroiditis since age 25, no one bothered to check my thyroid levels. my TSH was measured at .001. My Synthroid dosage was lowered. a friend advise me to contact a spiritualist who help with fertility with her medicine, i collected her contact an explain my situation to her she prepared for me a herbal medicine which i took as describe I by her. became pregnant very quickly, I had a successful pregnancy. I have my baby august 2014. to get pregnant at age 35 with my 2nd child in september 2016, thank you mama , this is her email contact if you require her help nativeiyabasira@yahoo.com

  • Leave a Reply

    What The Fertility

    Subscribe to our exclusive content, blog updates and be the first one to know about our awesome giveaways !!!