Babe In My Arms, Blogs

And Baby Makes Three

November 9, 2018

“When I found out I was pregnant my roommate made a joke that she thought I was and I told her she was crazy. I ran across the street to Walmart grabbed a test, came right back, and it was positive. I could not believe it. So I went to urgent care and had a ultrasound done, and there sure was a little peanut growing in there! 

Not long after becoming pregnant, I also found out that Grant’s bio dad was going away for a while and I already had my two and a half year old daughter Kaydence who I raised by myself.  I was terrified, nervous, scared, and emotional. How could I possibly raise another baby by myself? Was Grant’s bio dad ever going to be around?

My life at the time was a bit chaotic. I was living with a close friend, her husband, and their 5 kids. I just started a new job making $9.00 an hour and had picked up a night job to make extra money to save up and move out. Last but not least, I just started talking to someone new. 

My roommate and I started going over ideas on what I was going to do. No way I could ever go through with an abortion! Only two options left…keep the baby or look into an adoption.” 

-Grant’s Birth Mom, Jessica 

Personally, I talk about adoption all the time because it’s been such a beautiful gift for our entire family. I am always happy to answer adoption questions from other moms at the park, friends on social media, and even strangers in line at the grocery store. But when I talk about adoption or answer these questions, I’m only speaking for myself and my husband…what we went through, how it made us feel and why we chose this path. And that’s just 1/3 of the story.

The whole story belongs to 3 groups of people: Gabe and I as the adoptive parents; Jessica, our birth mom; and most importantly our adoptee, Grant. Our lives are forever joined as immediate members of an adoption family and that’s called the Adoption Triad.

We are so lucky to know our birth mom because that’s not always the case. And we are so lucky to have a great relationship with her…again not always the case. So I’m taking every opportunity to learn more about “Mama Jess” as we affectionately call her, who she was, who she is, and what lead her to us and why! Someday Grant will want answers to the questions and it’s a relief to have them for him.

I feel compelled to share parts of Jess’ story with you all (with her permission) because her voice in our journey is so important. From the first time I spoke to Jess she always made it clear to me that she was giving us Grant because she loves him, not because she doesn’t. Jess put Grant’s needs above her own in the most selfless of all acts. I mean, isn’t that the true definition of a MOTHER?! She is a beacon of light and a solid role model for other birth moms and potential birth moms that may need support in a scary and confusing time. The fact that Jess is so willing and open and honest makes me love her even more. We actually talked about writing a book together someday…ya never know?

I did not give birth to Grant, yet I will always be his Mother. The one who comforts him when he cries, the one who rocks him when he’s sick, the one who soothes him when his heart aches. I also get to see his bright blue eyes shine like the sun when he smiles, hear his infectious giggle fill our home and feel his warm hands reach around my neck for a hug.

Jessica gave me that.

She gave me all of that and more when she entrusted Gabe and I with this precious little life. I will never ever in my whole life be able to repay her or even properly thank her for giving me the gift of Grant.  But what I will do is keep Jessica present in our boy’s heart and mind and soul so that he knows that he always has the love of his TWO moms.

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