Monthly Archives

July 2016

Babe In My Belly, Blogs

My Maternity Photo Shoot

July 22, 2016

40You Guys! This is like a dream come true! I can’t tell you how exciting it is for ME to be able to do a Maternity Photo Shoot. For years I’ve seen all of my friend’s beautiful bellies center stage in gorgeous photo shoots and I wanted so badly for that to be me someday! Well my time is FINALLY here and these photos are everything I’ve always hoped they would be. Also, it was so fun to have my sweet baby Grant in the pics with his sissy. He is a trooper…as his Dada who isn’t the fondest of picture taking. But c’mon, what guy is??

I need to give a HUGE shout out to my brilliant photographer Lindsay Rene Photography ! Lindsay is fantastic and amazingly she had a baby 5 weeks prior to this shoot. Her photos are just dreamy! This shoot perfectly captures our joy and pure gratitude and I’m so thankful we’ll always have memories from this special time. We’re so excited to have Lindsay shoot newborn photos of baby sis too in just a few weeks! I could share every single one of the photos from our shoot, but I’ll spare you and just show off a few.

Dresses: Krazy Mary’s Boutique

Flower Crown: The Flower Shop Fair Oaks 
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Babe In My Belly, Blogs

The Home Stretch

July 14, 2016

I am officially one month out (give or take a few days) from meeting my little babe! I can’t believe how quickly these last 9 months have gone by and that soon my baby girl will be in my arms. While I cannot wait to see her darling little face, I must admit I am already feeling sad about not being pregnant anymore. Sounds kinda crazy, right? I just shared that thought with some girlfriends who immediately burst out laughing. I get it…being pregnant isn’t exactly a walk in the park, but boy is it the most special experience ever. At least for me anyway.

I’ll admit my first trimester was far from perfection. On top of being super anxious and worried about the possibility of having another miscarriage, I was also extremely sick. From Week 6 through Week 16 I could not keep a single thing down. Sorry this is gross, but literally anything I ate made me puke. Even smells like my dishwasher or my  refrigerator (which are both very clean) had me running for the toilet! I survived on Saltines and chicken broth, which is why I lost 7 pounds in the first trimester. Poor baby girl! Not to mention, I had terrible migraine- like headaches that would appear for hours at a time. I was a HOT MESS!! All that being said, those symptoms were actually quite reassuring. I knew that the sicker I felt, the healthier she was! In fact one day, probably at about 9 weeks, I actually felt good for about 4 hours. No nausea, no headaches, no nothing. I was so used to feeling awful that I freaked out, called my Doctor and begged to come in for a ultrasound. I arrived to the Doctors in a tear stained panic, only to be reassured that my teeny tiny baby was totally fine and I had overreacted. I got home and immediately puked. Lol, so all was well.

Besides the grossness of my first trimester, which wasn’t even that bad, my pregnancy has been a dream. In my second trimester I got my appetite back in a MAJOR way! That’s when my my love affair with donuts began! I also got a huge boost of energy which made me feel like Wonderwoman. I started working out again and had never felt so happy or content. These euphoric feelings continued right on into my third trimester and up to today! Lately I’ve received many cautionary warnings that it would “just be a matter of time” until I felt totally awful. “Your feet will swell, your back will ache, your stretch marks will appear, you’ll be exhausted etc etc.” So far, I am still one very happy camper. I continue to feel fabulous-like the very best version of myself.

Perhaps I am too happy to be tired or to excited to notice an aching back? Maybe I’m just reallllly lucky and am having a kick ass third trimester. I’m not exactly sure, but what I have learned is that PERSPECTIVE is EVERYTHING! When Doctors tell you that you will never be able to get pregnant and then miraculously you are, trust me, it’s not something you take for granted. Infertility sucked the life outta me…took away my joy and damaged my spirit; but this sweet child has given it all back to me. I feel as though I am a walking, talking miracle! Truly! Also, I am lucky enough to have a darling baby boy who needs my constant love and attention (we adopted Grant 4 months ago) and things will definitely change once Sissy arrives. I will miss that special one on one time with my sweet Grant. Right now I’m able to have both my babes with me at all times. Finally, who knows if I will be able to get pregnant again? Doctors said it would never happen, so maybe this is a fluke and I’m one and done? The only thing I’m certain of is that I am so unbelievably grateful for this beautiful experience and I’m not quite ready to give it up just yet. But talk to me again in about a month 😉

Babe In My Belly, Blogs

Baby Showering

July 11, 2016
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Two mamas to be!


Two baby showers in just one weekend! One for my sweet cousin who is having a baby boy two weeks after we have our little girl and the second for my dear friend from high school who is having a boy in September. Such a beautiful weekend filled with so much love for these two babes. But I have to admit, if these showers were a year ago…I probably wouldn’t have gone. I feel so incredibly terrible to say that, but I honestly don’t know if I would have had the strength. And I’d like to explain why.

Dealing with infertility for 4 years like I did, will test a person in ways you can’t imagine. Something as simple as going to a baby shower was enough to put me in a deep depression for weeks. At the beginning of my struggles, I would still go to baby showers; in fact I even hosted a few myself. I would smile and coo at all the sweet little baby gifts like everyone else, but in reality it crushed me. Most of the time I would cry on the way there and again on the way home. I was just so unbelievably sad to know that this was something I may never experience. As if that wasn’t hard enough, I felt so very guilty about missing all those showers, birthdays and kid-centric events. The guilt literally kept me up at night. I hope maybe now my friends can understand where I was coming from even if they couldn’t back then. And I want to make it really clear that while I was incredibly devastated for myself, I could still be happy for the mama to be having the baby. The two are not mutually exclusive. I genuinely felt relieved that someone I knew would never have to feel the sting of an IVF needle, take those crazy clomid pills or leave every Doctors appointment in tears. Honestly. I wouldn’t wish infertility on my worst enemy! Buuuuut I got to a point where the sadness I felt for myself out weighed the happiness I felt for mama to be, so I just stopped going. I wish I had been stronger, I wish I had made myself go and I wish that my friends could have understood WHY I couldn’t be there. Simply put, it’s not you it’s me.

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Look at all the cute babes at the this baby shower..my nieces and nephews! One year ago all this adorableness would have been just too painful for me to endure.

So now that I’m a mama, going to baby showers is fun again! They are the bright and joyous occasions that I could not enjoy when that dark cloud of infertility hung over my head. Go figure! So I have two messages. First, ladies struggling with infertility and feeling the guilt of not going to showers, birthdays, etc (basically an event where kids will be present) don’t be so hard on yourself. I beat myself up about not being a good friend and that’s just not necessary. You’re already dealing with so many intense emotions, don’t add guilt to the mix. If they are truly your friends, they will understand why you can’t be there. Secondly, ladies who are not pregnant and will never (thankfully) know the pain of infertility please be considerate of friends who may be struggling. Always invite your friends to the event (even if you think they won’t go) because we already feel left out and no invite, even with the best of intentions, can feel like a slap in the face. Also don’t take it personally if we don’t come. Infertility is no joke. Some days can feel like the world is caving in. Be extra sensitive to your friends that are struggling. We don’t hate you because you’re pregnant, we hate ourselves because we’re NOT pregnant.

Wishing you all light, love and baby dust!

Babe In My Belly, Blogs

I’M PREGNANT!!!!!

July 7, 2016

Today I’m thinking back to the special day I found out I was pregnant!!! Eeeee! I remember that December day like it was yesterday. I knew I was a couple of days late, but that wasn’t uncommon after several miscarriages and lots of infertility treatments, but I also didn’t want to jump the gun and take a test too soon. Believe me, it’s extra disappointing when the test is negative month after month. And even though Doctors told me I would never be able to get pregnant, it didn’t mean that every 30 days I wouldn’t get my hopes up and pray for a miracle.

So on this particular day, I worked out in fact it was the hardest workout of my life, went out to lunch with my Mom and Grandma then finally couldn’t wait any longer to take a test. I drove to Target and bought 2 pregnancy tests without telling anyone, not even my husband. I sped home practically hyperventilating with anxiety and excitement. Something just felt different this time. My heart pounded out of my chest during that excruciating 2 minute wait, but when I finally peeked at that little white stick I couldn’t believe my eyes. I fell to the bathroom floor crying uncontrollably saying “Thank you Lord, thank you Lord” over and over. I don’t know how long I laid on that cool white tile just sobbing and talking to God. It was like I could breathe again for the first time in years.

Yet even in that joyful moment I immediately recognized that the chances for a viable pregnancy were very slim, so right away I had 2 thoughts. #1 At least this is progress. I hadn’t a positive pregnancy test in 2.5 years…let alone any positive news in the fertility department. This is finally something GOOD! #2 Even if this ends in a miscarriage, which is pretty likely considering I’d already had 2, at least we can do an autopsy on the embryo and get some answers. I know….kind of morbid, but after so much heartache and disappointment you learn to always look for the silver lining. Fortunately, none of that was even necessary.

I still can hardly believe this is happening to me! I am so unbelievably thankful for this miracle. IMG_1262

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